i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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