You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
