He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
