This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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