So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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