he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
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