Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
