"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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