wat bout pragnant strippers??
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
