I am puke
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
