its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
