I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
