Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
