dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize