Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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