Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just pee around me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
