HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
