i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
