please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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