what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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