FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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