new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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