This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
