Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
