so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
