Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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