I saw his package. It spoke to me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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