We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize