So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
