Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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