Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
