she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
