Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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