This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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