Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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