Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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