Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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