"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize