"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
