he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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