at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
