he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
