you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it was like eating out sand paper
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
