On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
