I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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