Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
