I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
