foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
