Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
