he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
