we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
