I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
