Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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