What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
