I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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