I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
