we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
