I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
