so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
