I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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